About 2 years ago, I thought I had a 5 year plan.  But let me tell you, I was wrong. A lot of things happened that threw me off track. The guy I was dating ended up not being who I thought he was. I went back and forth with some choices I had to make in my program here at BYU, which led me to be in school longer than I had hoped. I had been applying to job after job, and didn't get any of them. I even really thought I was going to get an internship that I really wanted, and that didn't end up happening. Basically, everything I had planned on didn't happen. I was getting frustrated. I thought I was doing everything right, but nothing was going as I wanted it to, or as I thought at the time, needed it to.

Lesson learned: My time is different than the Lord's time. He really tested my patience, for the record. 

2 years later, I can see why everything happened the way it did. I know I was supposed to meet Jeff. I found a job that is way better than all of the other jobs I had been applying for. My timing in school has worked out great with other things going on in my life. I couldn't have asked for things to go any better. 

But...

None of this was my doing. It is so hard when you are going through a rough patch in life, or things are going the way you wanted them to, to see that God has a better plan for you - a much bigger one that really is the best way for things to go. When I thought that things needed to go a certain way, I was so off base. I wanted things to go a certain way. But my life would work out fine even if they didn't go that way, because I should have had faith that the Lord would send me on the right path.

Why is this important? Life is crazy, fun, dumb sometimes, exciting, wonderful, etc., and it gets so crazy that we forget we are such a tiny part in this huge plan. There is a talk by Elder Richard G. Scott, "Trust In the Lord," that I love and captures my imperfect thoughts perfectly and I encourage you to read it. At all times, we need to know that God has something planned for us, and when we go through rough times and things don't go as we had hoped, we need to pray and rely on him for help and guidance through difficult times. 

I am so grateful that I have a knowledge of how Heavenly Father has a plan for us. It took reflecting to realize that everything I went through happened for a reason. Today, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, about to be married for eternity and progressing towards being a teacher. What I thought was supposed to happen just wasn't the way it was supposed to go, and I can see that now.

love, SK

Wedding planning goes in phases. Some weeks it is really fun, and others it is really stressful. For the most part, I have loved planning my wedding. People told me it was going to be terrible, but I really have enjoyed it quite a bit. You only get married once, you should make a party out of it, right? So after I realized all the mixed feelings that were dancing around in my head while the planning was happening, I started jotting down every little thought I had about the wedding planning. This is that list of thoughts, or at least most of them. 

Is it April Already? -- Does that seriously matter? -- Let's Elope. -- I just want it to be perfect. -- That's not even close to what I wanted. -- It's going to be so much fun! -- Wait is this even going to be fun? -- I hope I don't forget anything. -- This is kinda fun. -- How much money is left in my bank account? -- Did we forget to invite anyone? -- Is the food going to taste good? -- How should we arrange the decorations? -- This is seriously too many options! -- What am I getting myself into? -- I love my family. -- Is my boss going to hate me for taking so much time off of work? -- How the heck am I going to get my crazy hair look normal for a whole day? -- How much money am I really willing to spend on this? -- I think I've annoyed my in-laws... -- Holy crap I'm getting married! --  Do people even look at our registry? (This was thought after spending 4 hours in Bed Bath & Beyond) -- Eww, are we as clingy as that engaged couple? -- Yes, I'm excited, stop asking me that, it's making me anxious. -- I'm so over running errands. -- I'm bored, what can I do for my wedding? -- How awkward is it to have everyone staring at me for an entire day? -- Is this lipstick too dark? -- Is Jeff actually going to show up? -- Wow it is so soon! -- Oh my gosh this month is going by so slow. -- I don't have time to do all these things! -- Is it possible to duplicate yourself to run errands? -- Baby photos are the bestest/most hilarious thing ever. -- I'm going to have to wake up like 5 hours before my wedding to make myself look at least presentable. -- It's all coming together, finally! -- Too many people are asking me questions at the same time. -- Woohoo! -- I can't wait to get married! -- How am I going to deal with being responsible for a husband? -- Oh dear, it's April.

Speaking of baby photos, here's a fun one of me, hiding in a closet which apparently I did a lot

love, SK



p.s. A year ago from this weekend, I realized that I loved Jeffrey. Writing this blog post, it has been fun to reflect on the past year and see the journey we have been on to get us to this point, 3 weeks from getting married! Who would have guessed that I would be getting married exactly a year from the month that I fell in love! :)